NeW BanD.....NeW LiFe........

I hate it when everyone keeps talking bad things about me. Yeah i know i may have hurt you, but i really didn't mean to hurt you. If I have offended you or anything then, from the depths of my heart, I apologize. I am REALLY SORRY. I'm sorry that I can't be perfect. =(

But nvm, I already quit from my old band a long time ago(if u wan 2 know the reason y then ask me directly) and I'm putting this experience to the past. And now I'm starting everything afresh...........with a new band! Yeah I'm already forming another new band and it consists of a lead vocalist(myself), lead guitarist(Julius), rhythm guitarist(Azri) and bassist(Gladys). Yeah I know we are short of a drummer and a keyboardist, but we are still searching. Oh, we don't have a band name yet(so as you can see..........there's still a lot of things that we need to do here). But this is just a start for now.

Music wise, we are planning to play everything BUT metal(and I mean anything to do with metal). Why? Because from my past experience, I realize that the music we play reflects on the kind people we are and we don't want to play any songs that have some negativity(that is if you understand what I'm saying). But anyway Azri shares the same opinion as me(although I'm not sure he got experience or not) and since everyone agrees, we'll play all songs except metal ones.

It's really exciting with this happening, but as I told Julius, get your priorities right. Do not let this band thing distract you from any other important matters(especially SCHOOL - yeah i know it sucks but it'll determine your future you know). And yeah, I have to remind myself to follow this principle..........=P

Until then guyz.....................................

CrueL FacT BouT Ppl.....

(Just a quickie cos i'm in middle of class)

Sometimes I dun get it, y do ppl wan 2 have fight if there's NOTHING to settle? N y do ppl spam stupid text messages just to try to get the mailbox full? N y do ppl spread nasty rumours just bcos they hate dat particular person? N y ppl call other ppl awful names when dats not their names in the 1st place? Humans r indeed cruel, they wan peace but they dun practice it.

Dat's y we must all treasure each other @ every single moment, for they may only b by ur side for a while, even though they say they'll b wif u @ all times.

1st HairCut Of 2010.............

Yup last Monday I got a new haircut. It's Mohawk-like at the front to the middle and a Slope at the back, just like the style I have back in secondary skool(back to old times huh?). But anyway, I gonna miss my long hair though but nvm, it'll grow back long soon enough, rite? =)

Until then guyz.................

SoLiTude...........

Life's pretty normal here, if it couldn't get any worse..........

Last weekend sucks really hard, cos I cannot resign from my job at White Sands McDonald's for the eighth time in a row (yeah i know I promise that I wouldn't quit but then my income rate is too freaking low!) and therefore, i'm still stuck at being a crew there. And it's not as if I got promoted or smth(when I notice there's already quite a lot of ppl who are already promoted b4 me(and yeah i'm talking bout ppl who's been wif this company for a shorter time than me). But then slowly but surely, i notice things kinda change around there when I step in for work last Saturday. I mean the arrangement in the basement storeroom change again(that part I don't really care so long as I can find everything) but the storeroom door knob is still not changed when it's already spoilt!(In the end I was trapped inside the basement storeroom for half an hour before I manage to break open the door)

And for yesterday, I have to arrange the storeroom and the bun trays again. Seriously, if a McDonald's crew wants a gd workout he should try doing these tiring tasks. I mean, sometimes the manager may order too much for example, and in the end you gotta sort everything out and arrange all of them nicely so that everyone can move around in the storeroom without having to squeeze around.

If there's another significant change I notice around my workplace is that I can no longer interact freely with my old pals there anymore. I can talk freely with some of the juniors like Luqman and Azri for example but I can no longer do the same to any of my old frens and I don't know why. Okay I can understand that 1 of them already promoted to floor manager and he tends to be more busier(when he also have to train a new trainee manager) but what about the others? And another one of them even complain that I purposely avoiding her, pretending not to notice her n everything. Well, I know I fought wif her once and we already apologize to each other but if you continue to ignore my msg n everything, how the hell shud I know that you are still angry wif me or smth?

Sometimes it's not that I want to pretend that nothing happens when a hell lot of things have already taken place. And it's not that I don't want to be happy and rather b moody all the time. And it's also not as if I don't want to laugh when I feel like crying all the time. Very few ppl really care about how I really feel or whether I'm really doing well but for the others, why must they assume the worst of me when they have no idea of what my thoughts and worries are? There's lots of times that I just wanna scream my lungs out, that I wish the pain could finally go away because I can no longer stand the despair that I'm suffering........

But on a brighter note, I manage to make a new fren recently. Her name's Irah(short for Shahirah) and she's 17 this yr. I first got to know her when she add me on tagged then later at msn. We chat for twice(I think, or is it three times?) before she surprisingly give me her no. and ask me to chat wif her via text. She's really a nice gal who's quite concerned abt me(we talked abt my problems last nite) and she has quite a similar(but not exactly) background so we have a few interests in common. Few of my frens are already teasing me abt this, saying dat the 2 of us might hit off, but who knows?

Wow, that's really quite an essay that I've written here haha. Yup, this shud've summarized watever dat have happen this past wk. My god, this's like an essay back in secondary skool(can i get an A here? haha). Alrite that's bout all I think.................

Until then guyz..................................

DePressed...........

To tell you honestly, this past week has been really like HELL for me. I tell you why:

1) My pay is so freaking late; To make it worse the pay is so freaking low!

2) There's dispute between my band but I'm not gonna tell you what happen cos what happen in the band remains in the band.

3) I got heartbroken over the girl that I really have a HUGE crush on.................

4) I clearly forgot everything that I learn from guitar tabs to rhythm (I used to be rhythm guitarist but after 2 complete years of not practicing my mind clearly gone blank)

5) I'm really desperate for money!!!

Actually there's some more but it's not really important so it doesnt matter to me. But this are the issues that keep dragging me down. =(

Nvm i want to clear my thoughts so if u dun mind, i wanna b alone for a bit...................

Until then guyz.........................

GCE 'O' LeVelz.....

Before i put in any of my updates, I would first of all wish every single student who's taking their O lvl result 2moro all the best and I hope you guys have the results that you have so long desired =)

To all my friends that have sat down and study for their 'O' levels, here's what I want to say:

I have seen with my own eyes that you guys have put in your very best effort to do well in your examinations. So be proud and have no regrets, that you have done your best =D

But for all people who have poor results or results that go below their expectations, do not fret. Because it is fated that you have this kind of results so you can either choose to sit in one corner and emo, or you make this an opportunity to take another step further.

All the same, I wish you all the best and may God bless you with good O lvl results =)

Until then guyz......................

Jobs N BirthDayz...............

Last monday me n Rizal join Salim to find presents for Salim's gf, Neni(Monday birthday gal). It takes quite a while to settle the gifts bcos both Rizal n Salim r quite indecisive and since they really have a tight budget, I have to just help them out. In the end, we go to quite a no. of shops Salim got Neni some jewellry and a nice huge teddy bear(which happens to say "Get Well Soon" instead of "Happy Birthday"......... LMAO) stuffed in this huge present box. Then we pick up Neni from her school and celebrate her b'day at Pasir Ris Park.

Yesterday, Rizal pick me up at school(he ask me to wait at East gate but he wait for me at Main gate...........wtf). And anyway, we go meet Sera(Tuesday b'dae gal) at Pasir Ris and head to Changi Airport for lunch. Later, Zim join us and we head to Bugis for job hunting. But in the end Rizal n Sera dcided dat they wanna b tutors. *sigh* waste time only.................

But anyway Rizal's birthday is coming up next and we promise we'll be giving him a gd jamming time as our present(alongside wif having a cake on his face LMAO XD)........................

Dats bout all for now. I gotta have 2 go back to my hw, hiaz.............................

Until then guyz..................

NeW BeGinNing...............

It's no use of me getting depressed when it's not even 1 week passed in 2010. Therefore, I've already decided to move on start with a fresh state of mine. Well this is what i'm planning to do for this yr:

1.) Just skim through my final yr in school without having to repeat any subjects(hopefully)
2.) Work hard on my band (Wings Of the Devilz) to make it more skillful and popular)
3.) Concentrate on 1. and 2. and do not get distracted about getting into relationship with any girls(unless there's 1 who propose to me but i doubt that would ever happen).
4.) Be physically and mentally strong enough for National Service in 2 years time(I can hardly wait).
5.) If possible, register myself in the army so that I can go straight to the army after National Service.
6.) Just go through another year of work at White Sands McDonald's(2 yrs already and still surviving. I actually want to quit but since my fren wan 2 join..............so i chg my mind).
7.) Be nice to everyone but dun be TOO NICE(cos i can no longer stand ppl stepping over my head and disrespecting me)
8.) Start learning rhythm guitar (if possible) cos i wan 2 b versatile in the music industry.
9.) Stop being lazy and get that comic script done!
10.) Stop messing around too much and be a gd guy sometimes =)

There, 10 nice things to achieve in this year. Hopefully I get all of these things done so I won't have any regrets later on. I know it's 4 days too late for this resolutions but let's get them done anyway.

Alrite gotta join my guys for a party. See ya!

Until then guyz..............................

GuilT.........

I would have thought that I may have begun this new year with happiness. But I guess not..........

This morning I receive the news from Nat that her fren has finally pass her the cash dat she owe me for the past two months. And I would be able to get it on my next working day...........

"All's well that ends well, I guess" that was my thought..............

After looking back at whatever that happens this past few months, I was plagued with the feeling of remorse, the feeling of guilt. All this time, she was trying her best to help me, she was trying so hard to get in contact with her fren so dat she could tell her to repay me back as soon as possible. But I fail to notice that. Even worse, I started doubting about her............

From my past experience, I was cheated by girls twice, both of them manage 2 cheat me huge sums of cash. And at that time, I was gullible to think that I may have "done the right thing" by loaning the huge cash. And when I finally realized that I was cheated, I swore to myself that I will nvr suffer the same thing ever again..........

But that is no excuse for this case. It was never a good enough excuse. Why the hell did I not believe that Nat was trying to help me? Why the hell do I not have any faith in her? Why the hell do I even have the thought that she wants to cheat me, just like the others? I remember, just because of what her fren do to me, I fought and argue wif her. And I even humiliate her by bringing shame towards her, by dragging her name down to the mud, by making her look like she's an evil girl. Why the hell do I have to be such a DEVIL to do all those things? WHY?!

For a while I cry out loud when I realize what pain I have to put her through. That I made her life like HELL when she's actually try to help me. If only I could take back all the shit that I've done towards her but alas, it will only be just a wish. No matter how hard I try, I can nvr undo what I've done. I feel so helpless, I cannot even heal the wounds that I inflict in her heart............

Even though she has already accepted my apologies, but I won't ever 4get this. Bcos of my stupidity, she'll nvr trust me ever again but I guess this is exactly what I deserve. For this is what they called retribution...........that I have to face............for the rest of my life..................

Things will never ever be the same again...................

Until then guyz...........................